10: Interesting Jobs and Peeps Along The Way (Part 1)

So... I am fortunate enough to have had a varied and rich career... Lots of jobs in a short space of time.... Now I would like to think that is because I am red hot at what I do... But it may just reflect the fact that I get bored easily... And according to my dad, I have to keep moving on in case they ever catch up with me... 😄😄😄.

Actually... Maybe if I was a kid nowadays I would be diagnosed with ADHD.  Remember the last blog issue about me and my fear of being a hypochondriac??? Lol.

Anyway, having so many jobs has certainly given me rich pickings for observations, story telling and jokes... Which just for a laugh, thought I would share here... 

(Short reminder that some of these have happened to me, some to others, and some to 'friends of friends' (evil laugh lol))

1. Learning to 'talk proper'...

So... My first job ever.... Actually was as a switchboard operator at local geriatric hospital.  Weekend working, 12 years old... Paid £1.25 per hour.

With hindsight I may not actually have been legal to work there, but it was amazing training ground in public service and practising my elocution ... I made it an art form to say "good morning, <name and full address of establishment>, <my full name> speaking, how may I direct your call...?"

However after a couple of weeks, this got shortened to "good morning, <name of establishment> how may I direct your call...?"

It did have some great perks though... I got free use of the swimming pool... Sole use at times!!!  (Made up for the fact that I used to have to walk up the long scary driveway in the dark 😉....)

And as for dealing with some of the staff... Well, if I stop and start with the sentence... 'They were all nuns....' I will allow you each to think of where those words would / could have taken me.

(For further background context, I was raised a Catholic, grew up trying to decide between being a nun or an actress, and my favourite film is the Sound of Music... Draw your own conclusions! 😄😄😄)

2. Big mouth gets me into trouble...

After the heady heights of being a telephonist, I upgraded my pay by 100% by changing to being a newspaper delivery girl. It was a breeze... Until it got cold, dark, wet... And I picked up a couple of known bullies on my tail... 😥.

So I did what any 13 year old smart mouth did... I shouted rude things at them and ran away.... And told my big sister about the horrible bully twins... And my big sister then came to my rescue in the most amazing way possible.... (Heads literally being banged together rings a bell!) And then she tore me to shreds for being so stupid.... Lol 😄😄. 

I gave up soon after that as I discovered that newspaper delivery was really not my thing... Especially when I was also delivering a gazillion free newspapers, there were scary biting dogs... And the ultimate straw was the morning delivery round... I mean... What self respecting tweenager ever got out of bed in the morning voluntarily?!?!?! 

(Even to this day I am really NOT a morning person for goodness sake!!)

3. Turning vegetarian...

My next job was actually a Saturday job in a butchers.  That was actually ok... Although the feeling of rubbery tripe through the plastic bags was just gross!!  

But the smell of raw meat did eventually get to me... And onto my clothes, hair, etc etc...  Little by little I didn't actually realise I was eating less meat... Until driving down to Kielder one weekend and I saw all the lovely Spring lambs and then fellow passengers pointed out I killed innocent lambs like that... 

(I actually had to point out I didn't actually work in an abattoir!!)

However working in the butchers did give some memorable experiences... Like the time we popped the eye out from a pig... Put it into the dip in the apprentice's hat... And he spent all morning wondering why customers were giving him strange looks... Well, at least he did until he had to stretch into the bottom of the cabinet and the eye rolled out... 😉

And then there was the time that it was a hot summers day, the meat was greasy... And the master butcher basically slit across his main artery in his wrist...  !! 

Aside from trying to hold a burly man's arm above his head and trying to call the ambulance, that's where we discovered an ambulance from the city centre comes out faster than a doctor from the surgery across the road...

It was also where I discovered that the owner of THAT particular chain of butchers docked my wages for accompanying the butcher in the ambulance to A&E.... "Because i had failed to remain working therefore not eligible to pay..."

What an ass.  Needless to say, I quit soon after!!

4. The seedy side of silver service...

So my next job in life whilst still at school was being a waitress... At multiple places!

(See... Multi tasking at the age of 15!!)

The sights, sounds and smells of being a waitress certainly made my eyes water - as well as the almost slave labour of what was actually expected of the waiting staff.

First off - waitressing in local hotel... Not only having to put up with the sleazy patrons who clearly thought that I was a piece of meat fresh for groping, the fact that waitressing also meant being expected to prepare starters, side dishes, desserts AND do all the dishwashing on the side.... Let's just say it was a far cry from my initial visions of being Yvette from 'Allo 'Allo!   

(My poor hands literally made me look like a scrubber from the 15th century!!)

Honestly - even though I had a frilly white apron and all the free juice I could possibly want... There are some things in life that are just not worth it.... Especially when I saw what the chefs did.... 😷😂

Let's just say I wasn't aware of environmental health, and I developed a healthy cynicism for 'healthy home cooked fayre'.... 😣😣😣

My second waitressing job DID teach me about silver service... But think I actually learned more from watching 'Pretty Woman'.... Although to be fair I never had to serve snails ("slippery little suckers"). Think I may have turned a little green If I had had to 😜!!

Although I am actually a dab hand at knowing how to set up for a 9 course meal with matching wine.... Even if I do say so myself lol.

And btw... Side plates with rolls ALWAYS go on the left... Regardless if you prefer the look of the seeded plaited one on your right people!! 

Anyway... After all this training around food... Is it any wonder I am a feeder when it comes to entertaining nowadays???   I just don't do fish.... (See previous blog about missing a wedding and ex-husband never even noticed lol!!)

So... Enough of job history just now... Am sure there is only so much excitement people can take... Lol.

Although I will finish this segment by telling a story of a group of ladies who went out for night out and decided to make up new jobs for themselves in case they got talking to random strangers....  It broke down into kissogram, a bikini waxer, a nun and a headmistress.

Will leave that pleasant thought in all your heads... One of them was actually me... 😉

9: Medical maladies - and hypochondria to boot!

Ok... So I write this, thinking I must be the biggest hypochondriac in the world....

Aches, pains, real or imagined... But it's funny how things play out in life 😄😄

As a child, I cannot claim to have been perfect (I hear you all snigger at that one already...)

But I mean, who didn't pull a sickie to get off school?  I can't even claim I was that inventive... Sore throats, a headache, a fevered brow... Or if I was feeling particularly dramatic, then sometimes a sprained ankle or knee that made me a cripple....

(That ruse always seemed to fail however when I forgot what side I was supposed to be limping on!!!)

My parents of course were wise to all these tricks... The only saving grace was that I was a know-it all that never fell behind at school....

In those days, the thrill of being wrapped up in a quilt watching illicit daytime tv, with juice and snacks being brought to me, seemed like bliss lol.

It actually was not until I actually really did get sick, that I realised that being sick meant sick bowls, shivering, dashes to the toilet and disliking sound / light / company....  And it is truly pants!!!  

(Having had proper bout of flu last year made that memory even more real!!

However, generally it has made me quite reticent about going to the doctor.

During high school and uni days I was struck down with glandular fever, then something called Tietze syndrome and then ultimately through early twenties I ended up being hospitalised for 4 operations and then another 3 times for severe dehydration / abdominal issues!!

The doctors mantra... "You should have gone to see your doctor earlier.....!!

(Oh.. Btw... Funny story... Tietze syndrome is NOT the same as Tourette's syndrome... Despite the f***ing similarities in the words!!)

It was funny though..  Growing up, my parents ended up taking us to Sick Kids on a regular basis... And the amount of bandages, neck collars (oops, they were all mine!) and various child friendly medicines was truly astounding.  I distinctly remember banana flavoured gloop which was just disgusting!

Anyhow... Given the drama queen I am / was, one of the worst times was when I was sitting in English in 6th Year at school... There was only 4 of us in the class... Teacher left the room, we started laughing at a joke... And my neck literally had ripping sound down the right hand side.... Instant tears.

What followed was a classic overreaction to a pupil injury...

Headteacher called school nurse, who phoned PE Teacher (?!?), who phoned an ambulance....

Unfortunately the paramedics were trying to remove me from 3rd floor classroom on a back board, with no working lift... At class changeover time.... 

So best I can remember is being taken down the main staircase and then being blue-lighted to hospital.

Unbeknownst to me, the school had phoned my mum, who had to phone my dad as he had the car... As they rushed into the hospital to see me, I know I looked worse than I should... I was on drip and oxygen and had neck brace on! 

As it turns out, it would appear that I just turned my head too quickly and I had torn neck muscles... All from laughing in English!!

Drama didn't even stop there though... By time we got home, my brother had told my auntie I had broken my neck and may have died....

So... A cautionary tale!  So much so, that 5 years later, my boyfriend at the time had been driving both of us, and we were in a bit of a one-sided accident.  I ended up driving home 400 miles with undiagnosed whiplash and then being sent to hospital by my work the following day.... Where it turned out I had 2 cracked vertebrae.... (The irony of me actually working for the NHS at the time was not lost on me btw).

On a side note, should have realised that that relationship never going to last when we were in another accident with him driving - literally 2 days after i got my previous neck collar off... With hindsight I wonder if he was after my life insurance???

But looking back at my childhood, I can only be described as a klutz:

... Going to play parks and falling off chutes...sprained ankles.  

... Going down a fireman pole slide that i forgot to slide down and just 'let go'... Head injury and concussion.

... Swinging on a chain rope across driveway a foot off the ground... Lump on head.

... Somersaults off wardrobe onto bed... Chip out of head that remains to this day... 

(As opposed to having a chip on my shoulder... Lol)

... Running through parks barefoot... Bee stings on foot.  (At least they have decency to die after they sting you!!)

Anyway... My attitude to trying to get medical help changed when I saw the size of my medical file at age 20 compared to that of a geriatric .... With hindsight I realise it was probably her 100th file... But I decided that I didn't need medical intervention... Ever lol.

However... Given my own medical / drama experience, I possibly do not make the most sympathetic of nurses to those around me if I think they are faking it....

When I used to be scout leader, I would take everyone else's maladies very seriously... I mean... They were not my kids!  

And actually I was quite good at playing nurse to many sick and injured... (Nothing dubious or double entendre meant by THAT statement.)

Anyway.... Now I am a great believe in sleep cures most things, there are painkillers if you are desperate... And alcohol to cleanse any instruments.

For me, laughter is best medicine for all circumstances... 

So when the kids have a skint knee or sore head... I just jump straight to offering amputation... As I put on my Quasimodo walk and nervous twitch eye....  

8. Always the bridesmaid... Never a bridezilla...

You know the saying right?

Well it genuinely seemed for a long time that I was destined to be a bridesmaid forever.  Think of the film '27 dresses' and you will get the picture...

1. 'The 'awwww cute' factor'

It all started off as a small 4 year old as flower girl for my auntie... My sister and I looked picture perfect matched in red and white sailor girl dresses with white hats and posies... 

(We were dressed as matching twins for most of our childhood, despite the 3 year age gap... hated it at the time, but looking back it was sweet... Even when we were 15 and 18 respectively ... Lol) 

The next time was for other relatives, where we dressed in blue velour jumpsuits with silver thread through them... (Excellent choice as it meant they got converted to cool party tops afterwards :-))

The time after, more family stuff and we were dressed in matching pant suits with short hair and little pig tails tied with ribbon... 

(However looking back now ... We just summed up the 80's.  Why did having a pixie crop with wispy pig tails at the back of a shaved head EVER seen like a good idea???? 

Then it was all about big hair, big earrings, but yet so innocent... Gosh how we have changed 😉)

2. The defining leap into adulthood...

However, these days of innocence never prepared me for the world of bitchiness that descends when a bunch of women step up to be 'proper' bridesmaids... Or indeed, brides...

3. 'Meringue anyone?'

As a bridesmaid in the 80's, fashion clearly never made it out of bed the day my peach meringue dress was chosen for me by the bride who wanted to look like the female star in Top Gun...  

Imagine if you will, the bride in a white meringue of lace that looked like she had walked through a net curtain factory, with Clara the long distance lorry driver hair*... 

And me that looked like a toilet roll dolly cover... 

Turns out that she chose an ugly dress so I wouldn't upstage her... I was a spotty teenager with train tracks and glasses... I mean really?? 

(* See pigeonstreet. com for reference)

4. Bridezilla the Hun

Then there was the time when I was asked to be chief bridesmaid to the fiancée of a longstanding male friend of mine.  

Although I thought it strange at the time, she didn't have any friends in the same country as her, so had asked me... Well it transpires that she thought her fiancé and I were having an affair (we weren't), and she wanted to keep an eye on me...???

Anyway she was quite a strange individual... And either incredibly brass necked, conniving or just plain mean.

First off, she was year behind me at uni doing same course... Turns out she copied most of my work when I offered to help her.  I also lent her  my books... Which I never got back.

She also ended up leaving me for the bill for her hen weekend as well as the hairdresser on the morning of the wedding... 'Cos she never carried cash.  

(She also thought nothing of going off with various guys on her hen night which I was scandalised by, but maybe I am a prude)

The night before the wedding, she sent me a list of requirements I was to bring with me - grapes, strawberries, champagne... Actually nothing I wouldn't have taken anyhow, but being instructed to do so kind of put my nose out...

AND she dumped me with looking after the groom's vacant cousins that she didn't like...

Suffice to say, when the groom found out (and not from me I hasten to add), he was absolutely furious... Marriage lasted less than 6 months as it turns out she was not squeaky clean in a number of ways!!!

5. 'It's my party...'

Then there was the whole story of my first wedding... Bridesmaids that hated each other, squabbled amongst themselves and even literally ended up chucking tiaras at each other...

Things became so tense that I had to hold a 'council of war' dinner to set the bridesmaids straight (mainly my ex's cousin) on a few things... Like the fact that I wasn't going to pay for a whole suite of undergarments and tanning sessions for them, whilst pointing out that inviting their friends to the wedding really wasn't appropriate when it was MY day...

... In fact I was so adamant that I was going to be honest and blunt without interruption, I made a spicy pepper soup for starters... Except it was more like a fire starter...

On the upside, it burned everyone's mouth so much that they couldn't talk back... 

Of course, best laid plans and all that ... I had refused to have my bridesmaids spend the night before with me seeing as they were all squabbling ... Instead I opted for the company of the best man's fiancée.  Who then spent the evening telling me all the stories from the stag weekend that I hadn't been told... And she had even brought photos!!

And if things couldn't possibly get any worse, the wedding day itself started with rain, I had packed the wrong bridal underwear, I had to apologise to the makeup and hair people for the one Po-faced bridesmaid, and then had to stifle my laughter as the same Po-faced bridesmaid then split her dress as she was getting dressed...

I shouldn't have laughed but by that point it was better to have found humour in everything :-)

Of course, I have to mention the infamous family photo which still graces my parents home to this day...

It's a very sweet photo of an older sister imparting words of wisdom, whilst fixing my dress before going into the church to meet my fate ...true love.

The actual truth was my sister saying "it's not too late sis.  Get back in the car..."

If only I had listened... Lol 😄😄😄

6. 'The Makeshift Bridesmaid'

There is nothing quite so flattering as being the understudy / stand in.

This doesn't just happen in theatrical circles, but clearly the wedding circuit too...

Take this one time (at band camp...) I was asked to be chief bridesmaid to one of my sister's friends...

Odd? Yes.  But the selection was based on the fact that I lived 3 miles away from her and my sister was 500 miles away...

She also used my house as a free house to stop and 'borrow' bottles of wine if she was entertaining.  Strange cookie.

Then there was the whole pre-wedding makeup experience where our faces literally got sprayed with foundation from an airgun spray... Lets just say, picture a typical orange Essex girl look... On a blue tinged Scot....

However, the wedding itself was fun...in a medieval castle, and if my mum ever asks what an armoire is again... Well lets just say that's probably not a story  for public consumption...

The most intriguing part of the day was watching the stretch limo trying to do a 400 point turn to get through the narrow archway into the castle on a 90 degree turn in a lane ... if you can imagine the scene with the cart in 'Austin Powers' you will get the gist :-)

7. 'Missing in Action'

Aaah the one wedding where I failed in all my bridesmaids duties.  And not even for anything exciting like having a dalliance with the best man or ushers!!

(Unfortunately real life is nowhere as near as exciting as 'Friends' lol)

Instead, this was the wedding where I discovered I had a fish allergy... And subsequently spent half of the meal and ALL of the reception passed out in the bathroom after doing a good impression of that girl in 'The Omen'.

I wasn't even missed by newly wed husband... Although friends did ask him why I wasn't doing my usual duck ass impression on the dance floor...

(I was ultimately fine BTW... It's amazing what cold showers, shot of adrenaline and antihistamines can do for a girl in distress... The funny thing was that most of the wedding guests were either medical staff or in the pharmaceutical trade!)

8. The 'Return the Favour' Bridesmaid

Been one of these twice ... The first for my sister which was great... And another for a friend ... Which was not so great!

Talk about seeing things from different perspectives!!  Whereas I did strive to be fair, include everybody, invite suggestions and generally get everyone involved as much as they wanted... Well suffice to say my friend did not.

There was no shopping together for dresses... Ordered online without us viewing them.  Same with shoes.  Of the 4 bridesmaids we were told what hairstyle and makeup to wear despite the fact that we were literally all shapes, sizes and colours...

(Can I just say at this point that a garish orange dress does not look good against flaming red hair.  No, really.)

It really took the biscuit when we were given target weight loss figures to reach so we wouldn't spoil the photos...

Funnily enough the friendship kind of fizzled out after that... Not sure if she ever really understood why...! 

9. 'Lights, camera, action' 

This has to be one of my all time favourite weddings, and one I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid for :-)

The happy couple are genuinely fantastic people, and have a sideline passion in movies... And the entire wedding was based around a movies / Oscar theme.

However, the bridesmaids on the other hand... Well maybe there will be a movie made out of all the mini dramas that went on between us all...

(First dibs.. i would like to be played by Julia Roberts in that case...)

There were 11 bridesmaids (yes, you did read that correctly ... 11 bridesmaids... And they were all size 6 / 8 / 10... Aside from me... Well I do like being different)

To put it bluntly, we were a mixed bunch who wouldn't naturally choose to be friends, or even mix in the same circles, if it weren't for the bride being the common denominator...

From the po-faced prima donna who would only wear 'Karen Millen', to the one who couldn't wear heels or strappy sandals as her feet were too fat...

Or the perpetual late arrival who drove everyone insane with her timekeeping, through to the sincere and gentle quiet ones who unfortunately couldn't handle their drink...

Or indeed, to the medically trained ones who were quick to give diagnoses but were perhaps not so big on the sympathy vote...

Of course I also can't fail to mention the overbearing bridesmaids mummies who also had their children as part of the wedding party... 

I mean, how much can they bleed people dry?  I would have thought that the fact they had been asked would be honour enough but no... It appeared that they also needed tights, cardigans, shoes, bags and headbands to complete the children's outfits...

Then of course there were the penny pinchers who made a scene about paying an extra £2 on top of their bill for a tip 'as that was not what they had calculated'...

Or the younger contingent who thought that as we landed in Paris and whisked away by minivan, decided to put the fear of god into everyone by announcing 'this is like the scene from 'Taken'.... 

Gasp, shock horror... We were all going to be turned into prostitutes for the Eastern Europeans...

I don't think so.  And jeez, thought I was supposed to be the drama queen??

Anyhow, the wedding day was truly amazing, all went smoothly, photos were beautiful and the speeches were certainly memorable ... And no-one can ever ask for anything more :-)

10. So.... Finally....

After all my various experiences I still love weddings... Preferably not to have another one of my own, but been 'party' to enough of them to think I could become a wedding planner... 

Then I would get paid for my wise words, sage and practical advice... and live up to my previous nickname of 'ninja bridesmaid' :-)

(That name in itself would take a whole other blog to explain... So I may return to that later....) 

7: Holiday Blog: Gran Canaria - Day 7.5

Sitting in the airport writing this last wee bit to finish off the holiday blog this time around.

We are both sniffing, sneezing and coughing a little bit... but tanned, relaxed and maybe still a little tired.  Good news is that we should both definitely sleep on the plane!

Last night after dinner we decided to skip cocktails at Bar Diamonds, and go straight to Sparkles Show Bar.  (The scene of the infamous Norwegian!)

The bar staff recognised us and thankfully we got seated by ourselves at an aisle... and all laughed about avoiding all strange lonely weirdos...

We opted to go straight for gin and tonics, being the classy and discerning travellers that we are... albeit we ordered it by the jugful 😀.

The show was really funny, and included rude covers of the Sound of Music and Aladdin.  I contemplated buying merchandise... but you know common sense prevailed... well, at that point anyhow lol.

After the show had finished, we popped into Coco Loco, where actually we switched to beer (him) and full fat coke (me).  Lots of dancing to cheesy tunes but think we finished around 3am...  after getting our photograph taken, and paying 10 euros for a key ring... honestly, I am a marketeers dream!

Getting back to hotel about 4am, turns out we did indeed post lots of pictures to Instagram... but it was a fun night, and am guessing I won’t be having another holiday for a wee while, so all is grand lol. 😀

I was however absolutely paranoid about sleeping in this morning, so my alarm went off at 8am although my friend was not for stirring much... so I went to breakfast on my own to fend off the buffet lurkers, lurches and bandits.

(I had also set my alarm for 9am and 10am just as back up...still can’t help being organised even on holiday lol 😂)

When I got back up, packing had commenced, and actually it was quite nice to sit and chill for an hour or so before having to get ready for transport to airport.  

The snacks we bought at the start of the week mainly went into the bin, and despite not buying anything than a wee bottle of perfume, I have no idea how my suitcase contents appear to have expanded! Maybe having clean ironed clothes really do take up less space than worn clothes squashed into laundry bags after all lol.

However the trip back to the airport on the minibus was funny.  Most people were sitting in happy peace until these three older ladies from Yorkshire got on.  One was a ‘chatty Nancy’, who gave a running commentary on everything.  Except her newly acquired friend Pauline.  Who was actually called Maureen... 

We could actually hear her from when the minibus drew up, and realised she was one of those happy clappy cheerleader types, shouting ‘Hola’ to everyone and waving.  Then as she was getting on, she loudly declared that there was no space to get into the seats, and it was really very tight you know...

She then sat and waved to her other two friends to show her where she was seated as she was saving a seat for them... I feel I have to point out at this point is was only an eighteen seater minibus.  And she was wearing a brightly coloured muumuu and hat.  Without sounding judgemental, I am pretty sure her little old lady friends could probably work out where they were sitting on their own even allowing for any ailing faculties. 

Despite that, it was quite funny to listen to them all sitting into their seats, and also the fact that she hoped there would be no more pick ups as there were no seats left... (there were 4).

In response to random stranger’s query to his wife about a wanting a pastille, chatty Nancy declared loudly that she would also like a pastille as “it was ever so dry, wasn’t it?”  Not quite sure if she got one, but my friend and I did sit and snigger in the back seat and try not make eye contact.  Well, I did anyhow... not sure he was thinking anything other than trying to sleep... 🤪.

Upon arrival at the airport, I have to say, this was the speediest check in I have ever had on any holiday.  Ever.

As we were flying at peak times on a Saturday, and on a package holiday, I fully expected it be absolutely heaving at the airport.  But no!  Literally no one at the bank of check-in desks, and we got straight through there and security with no waiting times at all.

A big shout out to the security staff though.  I never set off the scanner, but they wanted to check my skull cap.  Rather than ask me to remove it, the security guard just ran her hands over my head... it was really thoughtful and discrete. ❤️. 

And Las Palmas airport is huge, and great facilities and amazingly clean too... I think one of the best airports I have been to recently.  But actually, also have to say everywhere we have been this week has been scrupulously clean and great infrastructure... my prejudices have been fairly and squarely put in their place.  Definitely a place I want to come back to. (She writes with one eye on her diary for the upcoming year 😂.)

Aside from the slightly kamikaze circling by the bus driver transporting us to plane, the voyage home was uneventful.  This has to be a first as normally I find something to comment on lol.

The only thing once we actually reached Glasgow was the airport official who gave us a running commentary on the inner workings of the airport - although think he was only trying to humour us after sitting in the plane for 30 mins due to lack of buses!

So... to sum up... an AMAZING holiday. ❤️

Great company, fabby hotel, learned to relax, ate healthily, walked and swam and danced many nights away to cheesy Europop.  My friend and I never fell out once, and actually, unless he tells me differently at a later date, think we could be willing to do this again together 😀.

(Although I clearly need to get teeth whitened and a spray tan to match him in the photos... 🤪)

So... final holiday memory playlist:

‘Voyage Voyage’ by Desireless

‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua

Most songs by Vengaboys

Anything by Steps

Ditto from Spice Girls

‘Every Time We Touch’ by Cascada 

Anything by Cheryl 

Plus all the funny, rude and irreverent drag act songs... 😱

These may be the songs I now have to motivate me back to the gym 😀😀😀.

Till next holiday ramblings... (or other Mrs Mac musings lol)... byyeeee x